Menopause and Bone Health: What I Missed and You Shouldn't
Joint pains? Something to be dealt with in my sixties, I thought. I brushed off every ache as tiredness, even when my body was crying for help. I had no idea menopause and bone health were intertwined until I was forced to to face what I'd been so determined to ignore.
I am still young. A year more before I even step into my fifty. These pains were just a reminder that I’m overworked, over exhausted maybe. I kept going even after my lower back refused to carry my weight, even when my feet ached by noon. Slowing down meant admitting the truth that something wasn’t sitting right with my health.
Women, we are often put on a pedestal of strong, caring, selfless beings - a kind of species that came into existence by brainwashing our gender over generations. Many carried their pains silently, straight to their graves.
Sad! I know. So, I decided to be an aware, selfish soul; shattering the “put everyone else first” script I’d inherited.
Oh! Damn, it felt good… to put myself first, to make changes in my environment, diet, and mindset, and to finally put the superwoman cape to rest in peace.
But putting myself first also meant actually listening to my body, and that's when the questions started. What was actually happening in there? What was making my bones feel like they belonged to someone twenty years older?
So, what is it that makes a woman vulnerable to achy bones as we age?
Looking back I wish I had paid more attention to my body than I did to other people’s medical issues. But then, you learn when you are ready, right?
I was finally ready. Sharing here what I learnt, let’s just say, in not an easy way.
Menopause and Bone Health: The Diagnosis That Connected the Dots
My prescription read DEXA Scan and Right Foot MRI.
It took me a whole week to convince myself to go under the MRI machine. To my surprise it went better than the claustrophobic stories I had heard from friends and family with a history of visits for MRIs.
Headphones on my ear to protect from the loud, screechy noise of the machine as my right foot went under the tunnel and my head stayed out to feel the AC breeze.
Nicely tucked under a soft blood red blanket, I was told to keep my foot still. The noise, they said, will be loud to irritate your ear drums, headphones would help.
Lucky me, insomnia was put to rest, even if for 20 minutes. I had the best nap in the MRI room, under the tunnel, listening to the loud, irritating noise that sounded like music to my ears.
C’mon guys, this was my first time for an MRI. I had to make the moment worth remembering.
Anyway, fast forward to reports… My DEXA scan revealed my bones had started to venture into the danger zone. The right foot pain was just an accidental way to discover the ‘silent disease’ as osteoporosis is commonly known as.
No symptoms, no wake up calls, no signs - just the “O-oh’ moment!
I was blank, expressionless. No clue as to how I got here. Till a few minutes ago I believed, midlife crisis was the only crisis I was going through.
I went silent for days, lost interest in people, places, and baking my favourite cookies and cakes.
Was it too much to take? You bet… at that moment, it was. No more high heels for me, I thought.
What Next?
The doctor's voice was calm, almost too calm for what he was telling me. Osteoporosis. Low Vitamin D. Low B12. Low calcium. And somewhere in the middle of all that, one more word that made everything click into place: menopause.
I sat there thinking, wait, isn't menopause just about hot flashes and mood swings? Nobody told me it could quietly go after my bones too.
Turns out, estrogen isn't just the hormone behind our periods and moods. It's also one of the main things keeping our bones strong, constantly telling our body to rebuild what it breaks down. The moment estrogen starts dropping, that balance shifts fast. Some studies show women can lose bone density at a rate of nearly 2.5% every year in the spine during the years right around menopause, compared to almost no loss before it. In just the first few years after menopause begins, up to 20% of bone density can disappear.
Twenty percent. Read that again.
And here's the part that shook me the most: nearly one in two postmenopausal women will deal with a fracture linked to osteoporosis at some point in her life. One in two. That's not a rare, unlucky story. That's most of us.
So no, it wasn't just a midlife crisis. My body wasn't being dramatic. It was trying to tell me something important, and I almost didn't listen.
What I Did About It
For a day, I did nothing. Overthinking is a skill I am super proud of. Surprisingly, for the very first time, I sucked at it. My brain felt numb, like it had forgotten how it functioned. The automation of everyday rushed life switched off, like someone had pulled the plug.
Imagine, I went from thinking everything from 10x to not even x. Shock, denial, sadness all packed in one bundle - numbness.
I caught the rhythm the next day when I got ready for my event and wore my favourite black heels. My right foot cried to be let out of the clutches of this dreadful heel.
It was time, I realized to break the bubble of ignorance. There was no dramatic turnaround moment. Just a slow, quiet decision to take back control of my body.
My doctor started simple. Vitamin D, B12, and calcium supplements, since all three were running low, probably for years before anyone noticed. We talked about a once yearly injection too, one that helps slow down bone loss, but that's a bigger decision I'm still working through.
Alongside all that, I started paying attention to the small, boring things I used to skip - my meal planning.
Why Does This Even Happen? And Why Do They Call It a Silent Killer?
Turns out, there isn't just one reason bones start thinning. There's a whole quiet list of them, and most women are ticking off more than one without even realizing it.
Menopause tops that list, obviously. But for some women, it isn't even the slow, gradual kind most of us expect. If the ovaries are removed through surgery, along with or separate from a hysterectomy, estrogen doesn't fade over years, it disappears almost overnight. That sudden drop can hit bones even harder than natural menopause does.
Then there's the stuff we don't talk about enough. Family history, because if your mother or grandmother had it, your bones probably inherited more than just her eyes. A naturally smaller or thinner body frame, which gives you less bone mass to begin with. Years of low calcium or Vitamin D, quietly building a deficit nobody notices until a scan says so. A sedentary lifestyle, because bones, like relationships, weaken when neglected. Smoking, excess alcohol, and even certain long-term medications like steroids can speed things up too.
And some conditions hide in plain sight. Thyroid issues. Celiac disease. Autoimmune conditions. All silently pulling calcium and strength out of bones while we're busy blaming tiredness or age.
Which brings me to the part that scared me the most. They call osteoporosis the silent killer, and I finally understand why.
There's no pain when your bones are thinning. No warning sign, no dramatic symptom, nothing that makes you stop and think, something is wrong here. Most women find out only after a fracture happens, sometimes from something as small as a stumble, a sneeze, or bending down to pick up a bag. One day you're fine. The next, a bone breaks doing something that should never have broken it.
That's what makes it dangerous. Not the disease itself, but the silence before it. By the time it speaks up, it's already been years in the making.
I got lucky. My foot pain, unrelated as it turned out to be, is what led me here before things got worse. Not everyone gets that accidental warning.
Menopause and Bone Health: Let’s Do The Food Right
I am a foodie with a sweet tooth. Baking cookies and cakes, remember.
No regular work hours, regular food cravings hitting every few hours and chai… always a cup full on my desk.
Some really important decisions needed to be made now. What to eat? What to avoid? How much was the right amount? And what accounted for an overdose on sweet indulgence? Here's what changed on my plate.
What I Now Make Room For | What I'm Learning to Cut Back On |
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Coming Back to Myself
I used to think taking care of myself was the last item on a very long list, something I'd get to eventually, once everyone else was fed, settled, and okay. Turns out, my bones were keeping score the whole time I wasn't paying attention.
Maybe that's the real lesson menopause brought me, not just about estrogen or calcium or DEXA scores, but about what happens when a woman spends decades putting herself last. Our bodies don't complain loudly. They wait. Quietly, patiently, until one day they can't hold the weight anymore, literally.
I'm not writing this to scare you. I'm writing this because I wish someone had scared me a little sooner.
If you're in your forties or fifties, if you've been dismissing aches as tiredness, if you're waiting for a "better time" to get yourself checked, this is me telling you, gently but firmly, that time is now. Not when the pain becomes unbearable. Not when a fracture forces the conversation. Now, while you still have the choice.
Get your Vitamin D and calcium checked. Ask your doctor about a DEXA scan if you're anywhere near menopause. Don't wait for your body to shout when it's already been whispering for years.
And to every woman still wearing her superwoman cape, still putting everyone's needs above her own, I see you. I was you. Let this be your permission slip to finally put yourself first, before your bones make that decision for you.
Share this with a woman who needs to read it today, maybe your mother, your sister, or that friend who always says "main theek hoon" even when she isn't.
And if you've had your own quiet "O-oh" moment with your health, I'd love to hear about it. Drop a comment, or write to me, sometimes just knowing we're not the only one makes all the difference.
Until the next one, take care of you too.
