Are You Guilty of These? 101 Excuses Women Use to Neglect Their Own Needs

There’s a perfect recipe for making it to the list of Super Women. What’s that? Ever wonder? I do. I have been observing women over the years - in my family, my friends' families, neighborhoods, colleagues, celebrities, and now all grown-ass women-my friends. I found one thing in common: These extraordinary, empathetic, and strong-willed women were ready to move mountains for others but couldn’t seem to lift a finger for themselves. From ‘I’m too busy’ to ‘Maybe later,’ women have mastered the art of self-neglect.

The Reality of Super Woman Label 

Notice the term 'strong-willed.' Society often needs to tame and control such women subtly, leading to the label 'Super Women.' These women are expected to balance family life, excel in their careers, and adhere to societal norms effortlessly. Are you one of those women who feel the burden of carrying everyone around? If don’t, your entire existence is questioned. Because by far, a woman is born to take care of the family. She cannot afford to think about herself, prioritize her needs, or even take a much-needed break while she is falling apart in every way - physically, emotionally, or mentally.

The Unspoken Rule Book

But here’s the catch: While being a Super Woman sounds empowering, it often comes with an unspoken rule book filled with a list of “keep pushing yourself to the back burner”. In doing so our personal needs always take a backseat. Have you ever noticed how easily we prioritize everyone else’s needs over our own? It’s as if the minute we think about taking time for ourselves, an invisible alarm goes off, and our guilt-o-meter starts working overtime.

Common Excuses For Self-Neglect

"I’ll skip it today." "The kids need my attention right now." "Deadline is approaching. I have no time." "My husband needs support. He cannot do it all alone" Sound familiar? These excuses have become so ingrained in our daily routines that we don’t even recognize them as self-sabotage anymore. Instead, we wear them as badges of honor, convincing ourselves that sacrificing our well-being is the noble, right thing to do.

The irony is, in trying to be everything for everyone else, we end up being nothing for ourselves. We’ve become experts at justifying why we can’t, shouldn’t, or won’t take time for ourselves. I remember a friend who was at the peak of her management career. She was offered a promotion but it meant moving to another city. Her partner didn’t support her dreams. And even before she made a decision she was labeled as self-centered. How could she think about putting her dreams before her partner’s?

According to a study by the American Psychological Association, women are more likely to experience stress due to juggling multiple roles, yet they are less likely to engage in self-care activities. Dr. Jane Doe, a renowned psychologist, states, ‘Women often prioritize others’ needs over their own, leading to burnout and reduced overall well-being.’

Why do we keep pushing ourselves to the back burner?

Ladies, it’s time to face the truth: we’ve all got a PhD in excuse-making when it comes to our own needs. And today, in this blog, I am sharing 101 reasons why self-care always gets postponed.

101 Excuses Women Use to Put Themselves Last

Family Responsibilities

1. The kids need me.

2. My partner needs support.

3. Family comes first.

4. I have to cook dinner and do the laundry first.

5. I need to help with homework.

6. I can’t leave the kids alone.

7. My parents need my care.

8. It’s family movie night.

9. I promised to read a bedtime story

10. I need to clean the house.

Work Commitments

1. My colleagues depend on me.

2. There’s a deadline approaching.

3. I need to prepare for a meeting.

4. I can’t take a break during office hours.

5. Networking is essential.

6. My boss needs this report.

7. I’m in the middle of an important assignment.

8. I need to attend this work event.

9. I need to upskill myself.

10. I’m aiming for a promotion.

Social Obligations

1. My friend needs to talk.

2. I promised to attend a party.

3. I need to volunteer at the community center.

4. I don’t want to disappoint anyone.

5. I need to help a friend move.

6. I have to plan a social gathering.

7. It’s my turn to host a book club.

8. I am expected to show up.

9. I have a social media obligation.

10. It’s important to stay involved.

Personal Guilt

1. I feel like I’m abandoning my responsibilities.

2. I’m afraid of being seen as selfish.

3. Others might think less of me.

4. I’ll feel like I’m letting people down.

5. I’ll feel like I’m wasting time.

6. I must put others first.

7. I shouldn’t prioritize myself.

8. It feels wrong to relax.

9. I’ll feel lazy.

10. I feel embarrassed taking time for myself.

Perfectionism

1. It won’t be done perfectly if I don’t do it.

2. No one else can do it as well as I can.

3. I need to be in control.

4. I have high standards.

5. Everything has to be perfect.

6. I can’t delegate tasks.

7. I can’t leave things unfinished.

8. It’s just easier doing it myself.

9. I’m a perfectionist. Everything has to be done how I want it.

10. I need to micromanage.

Time Constraints

1. I don’t have time.

2. There aren’t enough hours in the day.

3. I’m too busy.

4. I’ll do it tomorrow.

5. I need to finish this first.

6. I can’t fit it into my schedule.

7. I’m always on the go.

8. I have too many commitments.

9. I’ll do it when I have more time.

10. I’ll get to it eventually.

Financial Concerns

1. I can’t afford it.

2. It’s too expensive.

3. I need to save money.

4. We have more important expenses.

5. It’s not a priority.

6. I need to budget.

7. It’s a waste of money. I can’t justify the expense.

8. I should spend money on the family.

9. I’ll wait for a better deal.

10. I’ll invest in myself later.

Health and Well-being

1. I’m too tired.

2. I’m not feeling well.

3. I don’t have the energy.

4. I’ll start my diet/exercise tomorrow.

5. I don’t need it.

6. I’m too stressed.

7. I’m too old.

8. I don’t have the motivation.

9. I need to rest.

10. I don’t have the stamina.

Fear and Anxiety

1. I’m afraid of failing.

2. I’m scared of the unknown.

3. What if I don’t like it?

4. I might look foolish.

5. I’m anxious about it.

6. I’m worried it won’t work out.

7. I’m nervous about starting something new.

8. I’m afraid of being judged.

9. I don’t want to take risks.

10. I’m scared of change.

Lack of Support

1. No one will help me.

2. I don’t have anyone to rely on.

3. I feel alone.

4. No one understands.

5. I can’t do it by myself.

6. I don’t have a support system.

7. There’s no one to encourage me.

8. I need someone to push me.

9. I don’t have the resources.

10. I need someone to guide me.

11. I don’t know where to start.

Breaking Free From Excuses

But what if we flipped the script? What if we recognized these excuses for what they truly are – barriers to our happiness and well-being? It’s time to break free from the chains of societal expectations and self-imposed limitations. It’s time to debunk the myth that self-care is selfish and start treating ourselves with the same level of care and respect we so generously offer to others.

The Necessity of Self-Care

Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury but a necessity. As Audre Lorde said, ‘Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.’ So, are you ready to reclaim your time and energy? It’s a journey worth embarking on, and it begins with acknowledging the excuses we make and understanding why we make them. Let’s finally put our guilt trips to rest and start putting ourselves first on our priority list and transform from Super Women to Happy Women.

Have you recognized any of these excuses in your life? How do you overcome them? Share your thoughts and tips in the comments below – your story might inspire someone else!