Updated: Jul 13
'What kind of a mother are you?' In an era where people judge your every move, it is the toughest time to be born a woman. Even tougher is when your motherhood is questioned!
As a mother, we all love our kids. We want them to be well-behaved, helpful, friendly, supportive, not clingy or clumsy, caring and sharing, lovable, happy-go-getters, and most of all neither of us wants to believe that our child is a fussy eater or a brat.
But, the grass will not always be greener. There will be rough days, bad days, miserable days that will tear you apart and make you question your sanity. There will be days you will spend crying, thinking and believing your child is the only one who is born a little monster to try your patience. And next minute you will be riding on a roller coaster of a guilt trip, hugging your sleeping beauty and kissing her till you finally wake her up to tell her how much you love her. That’s being a mommy!
It is Not Easy Being A Tough Mommy
But if being a mommy was so easy, anyone in the family could have donned our hat.
Yet the irony is that you will always get the cold shoulder for being a tough mommy. No one will ever praise you for doing your mommy job well. Because...
You took away your daughter's favourite toy, so what, if it was to teach her sharing.
You ignored your crying son just to teach him that his manipulative behaviour will not work in his interests.
You did not play referee to stop your kids' fight. Instead, you grounded both of them to teach compassion.
You did not forgive your little one when he stole money from his dad’s wallet the first time, only to teach him the difference between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour.
You were reasonably firm with your daughter when you caught her lie. And that made her cry.
You scold your children to teach them well-manners so that no one else can raise their voice or finger on them and shame them by name-calling.
You let your kids eat junk food once a week. You are not bothered about their health.
Your son got sick and it’s all your fault. He wanted to play outside in the rain or snow or on a cold winter day. He wanted to enjoy life a little more and you let him do so.
You did not cook her favourite meal for lunch. The food was cooked and you wanted to teach her to eat everything that's served on the table, even if it's not her favourite food. You are the reason she gets upset.
You force her to study so that she can keep up her good grades from falling.
You ask your son to help you in the kitchen and household chore as you believe responsibilities are not gender-biased.
You are spoiling your daughter by giving her the liberty to make her own choices.
You shout at your children often. You scold them or slap them as a reminder to stay put on the right path.
The list is long. When you are busy engaging with these little fellows teaching them to be humble and caring humans, people around you - your family, friends, relatives, neighbours, colleagues, and strangers, are busy finding faults in your parenting.
What to Say to People When Asked 'What Kind of a Mother Are You?'
Ever faced the question raised at you, ‘what kind of a mother are you?’
You yell. You shout. You scold. You slap. You stop talking to your child at his slightest fault. You take away her toys when she misbehaves. You make him do the household chores. You are abashed of not being the mommy your child deserves. You are guilty of raising your children strongly and firmly in a world that’s nowhere close to being called a safe haven for the coming generations.
Mommy, you are doing a great job. No one knows your child better than you. And no one can teach her the values to live her life by, other than you.
So, next time when someone questions your motherhood, and asks you, ‘What kind of a mother are you?’ Look straight into their eyes and say, ‘the best kinds that my child deserves!’