Updated: Nov 11, 2019
Relationships are delicate, complex, entangled, and imperfect. They demand a lot of hard work and time. Life is no fairytale, and there will be no fairy godmother to swirl her magic wand to heal your breaking relationship.
The onus is on the two people in the pact of marriage. When the honeymoon phase is over and the reality dawns on people, relationships can become intoxicated.
Due to lack of communication with your partner because of the overgrowing work pressure, increased usage of smartphones, and household responsibilities emotions take a back seat and people take each other for granted.
Having children is another full-time job. Kids are born out of family pressure even before the couple is ready. The years that the couple should spend bonding they spend rearing young kids. That adds to the already crumbling relationship. No, not having kids is also not a solution.
But have you ever stopped to think, how does it feel like living under one roof as strangers?
Yes, weird! I understand the feeling.
Once in a while each one of us feels lonely, ignored, unwanted, and undesired in our loving relationship; so does that mean the marriage is over? No. It just means that either you or your partner has zoned out on the autopilot mode, and is obscured.
What does it mean to slip away into autopilot mode in your relationship? It means that you are no longer interested in shaping and directing the course of your relationship. You lose the rythm of couple goals and do things without noticing the process or course of your actions. It is like living in an automated state.
So, is going on autopilot mode considered a serious problem? Not really but it sure is a warning sign to save your marriage before it is too late.
Here are 4 simple yet effective ways to get your relationship back on track. But make sure you are looking forward to working things out.
This is not going to be as easy as it seems. Remember, people are never perfect. All relationships go through hell however only the robust ones get through it.
Communicate: There is an age-old saying ‘relationships cannot grow without the proper amount of communication’. But the biggest problem with communication is that we do not listen to understand. We listen to reply.
Make time to talk to each other. Share about your day, ask your partner about their day. The key here is to listen. Be quiet to be present with them when they talk. You will discover something new about your partner every time you have a heartfelt communication. Just talk and let the time slip by.
Be Tolerant: Making mistakes is part of learning and growing. Neither of you is perfect. So have minimal expectations from your partner. Be more tolerant of their shortcomings and appreciate them for their efforts.
If the issue is insignificant, ignore. If the problem persists, take action. If there is a misunderstanding, explain your side of the story. If they feel sorry, forgive.
When the person matters, problems disappear.
Schedule ‘We’ Time: Plan a weekend getaway or a spa date or just watch a movie. Working out together is also an option if you both are gym freaks.
When you sit and think you will find a common thread of likes and dislikes. Make a list of things you both enjoy and another list of individual likings. Once a month pick up activity from the lists and plan a date.
Acknowledge your Partners Simple Acts: Acknowledge the little things your partner does for you. It could be as small as reminding you of your medicine or as big as giving up on their dreams to help you fulfil yours.
Letting each other know how they made you feel widens the scope of improvement in your relationship. It not only strengthens your bond but also makes you feel valued and wanted.
Spark the lost flame of love between the two of you. Romance is a myth. Love is real. And love is found in simple yet profound efforts you make for your partner.
Stop waiting for a happy ending. Make your relationship count in the existing scenario. Live, laugh, love, and enjoy every moment together building up each other, celebrating each other and sharing the burdens of life jointly.